Here's a wonderful article about the uproar when Victoria Secret model, Miranda Kerr, had the audacity and the immodesty to post a breastfeeding picture on her blog. An underwear model posted a breastfeeding picture and suddenly she is immodest? Oh my F-ing God.
The reason I like this article is that it calls BS on the Boob False Dichotomy. The BFD is my name for this need we have to make boobs be for ONE THING ONLY.
On one side of the dichotomy, moms wearing denim jumpers who only do it with the lights off claim that boobs are exclusively for nursing babies. I imagine them smacking the hands of their randy husbands if they ever dared to touch one of their wives' saintly boobs.
On the other side of the dichotomy, I imagine the woman from the Cake song "Italian Leather Sofa" who has "a silk dress and healthy breasts that bounce on his Italian leather sofa." You know, the yuppies who claim that breastfeeding is disgusting, that boobs are only for sex, and that children should never set foot in any restaurant other than McDonald's.
I was glad to find in the article that someone besides me thinks that boobs are for nursing babies (and even children big enough to say "Mom, would now be an okay time to nurse?") and for enticing men into bed.
As an end to this review (Yes, it's a review AND a rant, so please go read the original article!), I'm gonna reveal one more scandalous secret. Women can be both nurturing mothers and sex objects at the same time. Pregnant women routinely boink their partners; nursing moms sometimes take pole dancing classes; and your own mom probably let your dad fondle the same boobs that she nursed you with (if you were lucky). Get over it.
5 comments:
I thought that "saintly boobs" might be a unique phrase on the Internet, but Google finds 8 other sites.
So I'm one of those yuppies you mentioned, only I would really love it if kids weren't allowed in McDonald's either because then presumably they'd let adults in the ball pit. Apparently it's very scandalous, but I just don't like kids. Consequently, boobs really do have just one purpose in my life. HOWEVER:
OMG that picture is super cute! It has to be the most beautiful, least offensive, not at all gross maternal photograph in existence. I can't imagine it hurting her career at all. In fact, she looks far better in that photo than she does in the catalogs. So. Cute.
I haven't witnessed this outrage, but maybe it's a jealousy thing? How many women look *that* good on the best day of their life, let alone after having a baby? Damn, girl.
Anyway, thanks for an enjoyable post (and hail your multitasking boobs!)
I agree with you that it's strange many people seem to think of the function of breasts as either sexual or reproductive and can't understand how they could be both.
With these people I like to point out that I daily use my penis for excretory functions and, yet, I can also use that same penis for reproductive ends and sexual pleasure. It's crazy, but my penis has many functions. In fact, some days I even use it for multiple different ends in the same day! For some reason, people understand that the penis can be multi-functional, even though they can't understand it with breasts.
I think you're right to link it to the Madonna/whore complex and the idea that good women (mothers) aren't sexual and sexual women are mothers. I, of course, blame christianity and Plato for this.
~Jason
Not sexual. Sorry guys.
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