Things I Learned on My Travels Aside from the Order of Succession of the Monarchy

I learned many things on my travels. I know a lot more about the early kings and queens of England, and that's saying something because I knew a pretty good amount before. I know more about human evolution, about meteorites, about Roman mythology, and about online writing centers. Here are some different lessons that I learned:

1. Always, always wear your barefoot shoes. No matter how stunning you think you look in your new black boots, DO NOT WEAR THEM FOR WALKING ALL DAY! How do people wear shoes like these all the time? They weren’t even heels!
2. When in England, eat Indian food at every meal.
3. You get used to extreme cold and wind after about a week and don’t need your scarf and extra layers anymore. You always need your gloves, though.
4. Don’t bother with an umbrella. No matter how much it is raining, the wind is always stronger and really does turn umbrellas inside out! I thought that was just in movies!
5. When you travel alone, you meet lots of interesting people. The days I was on my own, people talked to me everywhere I went. I met a Hungarian Ph.D. student, a father of a choir member, a man sitting at a café, a man taking the same walk I was who shared my distaste for a piece of modern art, and a nice old lady at church.
6. Always take the guided tours at cathedrals. The guides are always hilarious old people who know EVERYTHING and use the word “jolly” a lot.
7. Don’t pay attention to the reviews of English hotels. They are written by Americans who are used to convenience and space, and they always rank hotels low for being small and inconvenient. This isn’t helpful because everything in all of England is small (except for cathedrals) and inconvenient (except for drinking alcohol).
8. Never drive in York.
9. Cornish pasties are pretty good, but they do not rhyme with “tasty.” Instead, they have a short a sound, like nasty. A pAYsty goes on a stripper’s nipple.
10. The British believe very strongly in religious services and tradition and cathedrals, but not so much in god. In contrast, Southerners could worship in an outhouse if someone brought a New Testament with the words of Jesus in red.
11. If you have the misfortune to be in a train station with Aaron, go ahead of him. Then you don’t have to watch him be slow, stop randomly in the middle of walkways, and wonder which way is out when the sign saying “WAY OUT” is right in front of his face. Just go through the station and wait for him patiently outside.
12. If you want even passable service at restaurants, stay in America.
13. No matter how long you stay, there will be things you didn’t see that you wish you had. Apparently, you can never be done with a rich, interesting country like England, especially London. Samuel Johnson was right: “A man who is tired of London is tired of life.” For example, I never made it to Samuel Johnson’s house.
14. Pack half of what you think you need. In one week, your cleanliness standards will drop to the point that you won’t care if you are wearing dirty clothes. Plus, they have washing machines in England. They are small and inconvenient, but if you are worried about that, see #7.
15. 3 weeks is a long time to be away from your own beloved child, but some trips can be worth it. Even if you dread putting the sleeping child into her own bed for days after you get back and you actually think watching her do needlepoint is interesting. :)