About me: I am EXTREMELY extroverted. If you are familiar with the Myers-Brigg test, you will understand when I say that I score 100% E every time. I could be around people almost all the time. I hardly feel like I have finished doing something until I tell someone all about it. My ideal living arrangement would probably be kind of communal. Maybe separate suites for families with a big common living area and kitchen and garden and outdoor space. I have lots of good friends, locally, but (kind of strange to me) these folks like to spend lots of time doing solitary kinds of activities. My boyfriend lives with me, but he spends long hours at work and needs alone time sometimes at home.
About our world: I think that people are kind of isolated in the modern, suburban world. We live in our separate houses, mostly inside and away from other families. People usually work away from their home and community. Most people don't live within spitting distance of their extended families and dearest friends. We schedule time to see those we like, but we don't spontaneously meet up with friends and relatives in the course of the day. This works fine for some people, but it doesn't work for me.
Fast forward to having a baby and staying at home, and all those things became a recipe for loneliness. It was hard giving up going out into the adult world every day and interacting with people. Since I returned to work and to school, I have been much happier over-all. But this semester, I am working very little and out of school again, and I feel isolated during much of the day.
This is where Twitter and Facebook and Blogging have made such a difference for me. They feel like a common room, where I wander in, hear what people are talking about, join in some of the conversations, get to know people spontaneously, feel surrounded by personalities. Whenever I happen to have time to be on the internet, there is always someone else, someone I share values and interests with, looking for conversation and connection too.
I would rather that my Twitter buddies, Facebook friends, and bloggers I read all move to Atlanta, live right here in my neighborhood, and have frequent block parties and chats over coffee, but I am grateful to Al Gore (cause he invented the internet) for the online connection I can have with these people.
I don't know why other people use these social networks, but I would be interested in hearing whether my experience with them is the norm.
7 comments:
I'm extremely shy and introverted (unless I'm around people I know really well), so Facebook, Twitter, etc. give me a way to interact with people that I never would see or talk to otherwise. I'm much more comfortable communicating online than I am in person. Sad but true.
Twitter: where introverts and extroverts meet!
I like spending time with (some) people, and I'm very chatty and excitable when I'm with those people. Plus, I need periodic social interaction to help shake up my creative thinking.
However, I get overstimulated in company, such that I have trouble settling into serious thought or work even hours later. And I get worn out, so that I just don't have the mental energy required to do much.
So to be productive, I definitely need to limit my social interactions. I prefer to spend most of my days at home. The beasts -- plus Paul in the evening -- are more than enough company for me most of the time.
Some kind of social interaction outside of that once or twice per week is perfect. More is wearing -- and time-consuming.
Of course, I don't like to be isolated like a hermit, and I have lots of friends all over the country. So the beauty of twitter and facebook is that we can keep up, share interesting links, etc. without that consuming my time and mental energy.
Of course, such interactions can be a distraction -- like writing this comment, for example, when I should be doing some work -- but that's far more manageable than the too-excited exhaustion of intense in-person encounters.
If it weren't for Twitter, I'd have no idea what Diana was doing all day!
If it weren't for Twitter, I'd think that Paul was hard at work!
I am just like you. Working alone at home is seriously difficult for me because I am SUCH an extrovert (I can't remember my exact MBTI scores, but I'm ESTJ and I'm off-the-charts with E, T, J, borderline between S and N). Your words about hardly feeling like you have finished something if you haven't told anyone about it especially resonate with me--that's the story of my life! I can't keep anything to myself, not because I'm a blabbermouth (well, maybe a little bit), but because I love to share the things I am excited and joyful about with other people.
Working from home, I do spend a pretty good amount of time checking Facebook, reading blogs, etc. I felt guilty about this at first and tried to quit--until I realized that I was LESS productive without these little "social" breaks during the day than I was when I allowed myself to take them! It's a far cry from having coworkers--actual, physical people to interact with during the day--but I am much happier and much better at my job when I can have some form of interaction with other human beings during the day.
It's been hard enough sometimes that I've even considered taking a "real" job just to have coworkers around, so I'm glad I have found a good substitute. I also spend some time each day on the phone with one of my best friends, a stay at home mom, and we refer to each other as coworkers because we each help the other fill the void of adult interaction in her life.
This is also why I intend to work only 3 days a week after I have my baby--I want the other two days free for social interaction, both for myself and for him. Maybe we can try to get together more on Mondays and Fridays beginning this fall, or whenever I feel up for getting out of the house with my son!
I can totally see how staying home with a new born can invoke additional social networking activities like Facbeook and Twitter.
You will identify with my new book,"Facebook Addiction: The Life & Times of Social Networking Addicts"
Amazon: http://www.TheFacebookAddiction.com/links/retail/amazon
Blog: http://www.icecreammelts.com/blogs/facebook-addiction
More Info: http://www.TheFacebookAddiction.com
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Cheers,
Nnamdi
I am exactly like Diana...these tools give me what I need without the exhaustion. After any social event I need at least an hour alone to recenter and refuel.
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